As a child, I shared a room with my older sister. When we were young, we used our hands to make shadow puppets on the wall and tried to figure out what each other was making. I would say a dog; she would say a goat. I would say butterfly; she would say bat. My point is that shadows lie. There was no telling what the other person was making with their hands. There was only perception—what my mind saw in the shadow versus hers.
As I got older, I stopped making shadow puppets on the walls but instead paid attention to the shadow on the sidewalk. This shadow, which was supposed to be me, was at times long and lean, other times short and stubby. I had little control over how the shadow appeared, but once I could control it, it was always fun to turn and tweak my body the way I was standing to see how I could contort the image cast on the sidewalk to my liking. It was like an olden-day Instagram. Using different body movements and poses to "filter" or "distort" my shadowy image into what I wanted it to be.
My youngest son, now 6, also recognizes that shadows aren't always what they seem. Most every night, he will come out of his room seeking comfort because of the shadow his ceiling fan makes on the wall. He knows full well the shadow is that of the fan, but the image cast is so distorted that it frightens him.
We all live with a shadow that frightens us. One that lies to us daily. Sometimes in a good way, but ultimately, the goal of the shadow is to control our thinking—I plan to manage that shadow. I don't want to be frightened by my shadow anymore. I want to be friends with it. I want to work with my shadow and learn why she is hungry for approval and attention. My goal for the next year is to listen to her, work with her, comfort her, and allow her to show herself freely without any filters.
Please follow along as I make this journey, and we can support one another in the process. All shadows are different; no two are the same. Let us not compare our shadows nor judge each other. But encourage and strengthen the bond between shadow and self. Learning to love yourself is a journey that only you and your shadow can fully understand and embark on.
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